February2022

Girls: Don’t Ignore Red Flags When Dating

I thought my friend was the luckiest girl in the world.

I didn’t say it, but I was jealous that her boyfriend of 3 weeks did more for her birthday than my boyfriend of 2 years.

We were sorority sisters, and our shared birthday fell during Rush. This year, her new boyfriend went big, sending dozens of roses and a huge birthday banner to our sorority house that covered the staircase.

It was a grand and splashy gesture that made hundreds of girls simultaneously swoon. As a naïve 20-something, I thought he was madly in love. What I realize now (especially given the fact that they broke up soon after) was that he did it for attention – and was probably a narcissist.

Nobody warns girls about narcissists, yet they should. Why? Because narcissists are rampant in today’s world. They look like Prince Charming at first, making it easy to fool a girl with little life experience. And in the worst divorces I see, the husband shows signs of narcissism and mental abuse. I wouldn’t wish it on any girl, and that’s why our daughters need education on how to notice the signs.

When I asked my Instagram friends for help with this article, the responses floored me. Women eagerly shared their experiences to help today’s girls. In every email, one theme emerged: The red flags were there – yet I ignored them. Many women said, “I could have saved myself years of heartache if I’d just trusted my instincts and that first red flag.”

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Why Moms Need Rest

“Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?” Mary Oliver

When I was younger, I didn’t believe in rest.

Especially as a new mom, my reserve didn’t feel empty because my heart felt so full. When I was tired, a nap made everything better. I was good to go again.

But with age I have changed my tune. I have seen firsthand how not making time for rest leads to burnout, exhaustion, loneliness, emptiness, and lost joy.

Some exhaustion can’t be cured with a nap, a vacation, or traditional ideas of self-care. Some exhaustion seeps deeply into our bones, and only time with God and healthy lifestyle rhythms can truly restore us.

Sadly, we often feel like we can’t rest as moms. We worry that if we stop moving, we may crash or lose momentum.

And what then? Who will hold the family together? What if it all comes unglued? What if our rest leads to chaos – and we end up more stressed than before? Nobody knows the family juggling act quite like mom, so we stay in motion and resign ourselves to living with overwhelm.