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Coaching Your Daughter Through Friend Drama

Posted by dataperk on July 27, 2020

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    I wrote this article last year (in my off year of I wrote this article last year (in my off year of having a graduate) only to need it again this year. As CS Lewis said, “We have to continually be reminded of what we believe.” This is especially true when it comes to letting our kids go. It’s available on my Substack for paid subscribers. Comment COLLEGE and I’ll message you the link. “The question for us moms is, what next? How do we cope as we miss our baby? The first step, I believe, is to grieve. To be honest about how we feel and carve out room to be sad. For some people, this takes weeks. For others, it may take months. It’s tempting to stay stuck here, forever nostalgic for the past, but that’s not helpful. At some point, we must embrace the next chapter — and notice the blessings still in front of us. Our college kids want to see us happy. They want us to miss them and be available, but not to the point that we lose all joy. That’s too much pressure thinking we can’t be happy without them. That’s why I believe in expanding our heart, our world, and our mindset. As my kids leave home, this five-word motto has brought great joy to me…”
    Semester 1 done!✔️ Congrats to Ella and her Semester 1 done!✔️ Congrats to Ella and her sweet friends in UAB’s Occupational Therapy program. I’ve loved hearing about the amazing people she’s met and what she’s learned about the human body. It’s fascinating! And as I look at these OT students, I keep thinking these are the faces that will be taking care of my generation as we age. So fun to see them start careers. Thankful for their hearts and the ways they plan to serve!
    And then there was 1 in the back-to-school picture And then there was 1 in the back-to-school picture🤍 First day of 10th grade for Camille and the start of a new chapter at Mountain Brook High School. Praying for a great school year for all and especially for this sophomore class, with so many great girls and boys. Go Spartans!
    Help your child see the opportunity to positively Help your child see the opportunity to positively impact their classmates’ lives. 20 years from now, their classmates will remember them with either a smile on their face or a pit in their stomach based on their behavior today. They’ll regret being mean, but they won’t regret being kind. To get this full article + a printable to share with your child, comment SCHOOL and I’ll send you the Substack link. Paid subscribers get access to this and more🤍
    Fun text from a friend who moved her daughter into Fun text from a friend who moved her daughter into Tutwiler last week at @univofalabama. I wrote #yoursnothersdevo with college girls in mind, to remind girls that God created them for a unique purpose, and that every detail of their life {even heartaches and pain} play into a bigger story God is writing through them. They are called to lived authentically, not identically to every girl, as they walk into their purpose. Especially during freshman year, when the comparison game runs high, learning to run your one-of-a-kind race while cheering on other girls as they do the same leads to connection, community, and lifelong friendships. Comment DEVO and I’ll message you the link🩷
    This is 53 for me 🎉 (the older woman for 3 week This is 53 for me 🎉 (the older woman for 3 weeks). Harry and I started the day wild and crazy by waking up at 6:30 am, going to Publix at 7 am, and taking a walk. Got to get our steps in! Here are random reflections hitting me today: 1. At 53 you look backward….and ahead. You have friends who are 35…and also 75. Intergenerational friendships become one of your favorite things. You love the variety and perspective. 2. At 53 you relate to grandparents. You watch the best ones closely and form “grandparent goals” in your mind. Your new hero becomes the 80-year-old man at the gym who walks from machine to machine with a cane. That’s the drive and resilience you crave. 3. At 53 you think of “St. Elmo’s Fire” as you pass by your post-college stomping grounds (i.e. Otey’s) and see your child’s classmates as the new patrons. You’re reminded of your age and how life comes full circle. 4. At 53 you’re loving life with your big kids. You’re taking fun vacations and growing even closer. But then some days it hits you how much you loved having everyone at home, and suddenly you’re crying in a parking lot, missing those Camelot years from your favorite season of childhood. 5. At 53 you mourn the loss of the adults who shaped you…the ones who loved you like their own. You appreciate your parents on a new level. If your parents are alive, you listen closely when they speak, knowing your time together is limited. If you’ve lost a parent, you really miss them, especially on your birthday. 6. At 53 you learn to give grace and trust your intuition. You understand why kindness matters. 7. At 53 you’re back with your favorite people from your 20s. The ones you spent all your time with before kids (ie siblings and old friends) become significant again as kids leave home. Reconnecting brings you great laughter and joy. 8. At 53 you know how to wake up with gratitude…thankful for eyes that see, legs that walk, and a heart that beats. You’ve seen enough death to know that no one is guaranteed tomorrow. You realize how every blessing and day on earth is a gift from God. 9. At 53 you remember your 29th birthday when you had a miscarriage at midnight. (More👇🏻)
    Marie Claire’s new home at @auburnu 💚 It’s Marie Claire’s new home at @auburnu 💚 It’s hard to let this girl go, and we’re really going to miss her funny personality and sweet nature, but she’s exactly where she’s meant to be with her friend Camille and the most adorable girls in her dorm. I have zero doubt they will have a blast and all become fast friends!! Auburn, take care of my girl, and Marie Claire, always stay close to the Lord and share the love that you’ve been given. We’re so proud of you and can’t wait to see what the next 9 months hold for you and Camille!! #auburn #dorm #dormroom #dormlife #classof2029
    This Saturday is my birthday. And the one thing I This Saturday is my birthday. And the one thing I wanted, before my college girls left home, was a family dinner at a favorite Birmingham restaurant. It was so fun, and one thing I took time to do was to look around the table and really notice/take in each daughter at this moment, at ages 15 to 22. I made visual snapshots of them laughing, interacting, telling stories, teasing each other, and talking about the childhood that Harry and I gave them - for better or for worse! When all the girls lived at home, there were so many nights when Harry and I were in bed and had to yell at them to go to sleep because they were in the kitchen laughing, making brownies, and just getting started at 10 pm. It was like a sorority house, and of course we miss it now. Today when they get together, they fall into that old routine, and it makes us so happy. It’s like music to our ears. All this to say, Ella is now living with friends in Birmingham and finishing her first semester of OT school, Sophie is back at Alabama, and Marie Claire is moved in at Auburn (more on that soon🧡). It’s just Camille at home, and she’ll be getting more attention than she ever wanted! As I drove to Auburn this week to move Marie Claire and had 2 hours alone in my car, the thought that kept running through my mind was, “Motherhood is the biggest blessing. It’s a joy unlike any other, and I would do it all over again.” After 22 years of raising four girls, I don’t regret a single second I spent with them or a sacrifice I made. It was ALL worth it. There’s a lot of negativity around motherhood these days. There was a viral video this year where a celebrity said that all of her friends who are parents are miserable. That’s a terrible message, and if there’s anything I’d want girls and young couples to know as they consider whether they want kids, it’s that children are a gift from God and yes, an enormous blessing when you see the big picture. After dropping off my 3rd daughter at college, this is crystal-clear to me. As I ring in this birthday and count my blessings,the 5 people standing around me will definitely top the list 🎂
    Once again, this is for my prayer warrior mama fri Once again, this is for my prayer warrior mama friends. It’s been so fun to hear how many of you love prayer and understand it as the first line of defense in preparing our children for a broken, fallen, and often scary world. New on my Substack, temporarily free to all, are 12 prayers for a new school year. Comment PRAY and I’ll message you the link🙏🏻 Also, subscribe to my Substack to not miss future posts, and let me know what articles you’d love to see🤍
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