Why Women Need Their Girlfriends

Years ago, I was at the beach with my family when I noticed a group of ladies nearby who appeared to be in their fifties.

With a quick glance, I knew they were on a girls’ weekend. All the signs were there – coolers & cocktails, beach bags with romance novels, straw hats, umbrellas in the sand – but most telling of all was their laughter. Lots of lots of laughter, the kind that draws attention and curiosity from anyone in earshot.

I loved watching these women enjoy each other. Although they were older than me, and well past my season of life in having babies, I could imagine being in their shoes one day, basking in the glow of old friends who still made me feel young again.

That afternoon, I saw two of them in the elevator. When I commented on how much fun they seemed to have, they smiled and nodded. One replied, “Oh, we do have fun. We’ve kept this beach trip going for twenty years and have been through everything – divorce, death, cancer, unemployment. Don’t ever lose touch with your girlfriends, sweetheart.The older you get, the more you’ll need them.”girlfriends

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When Your Kids are Mean to Each Other

My family and I have had a great summer. We’ve been to the beach, stayed up late laughing and being silly, caught up with friends, and enjoyed extra time together that I try to cherish because I know one day, we’ll be going in different directions.siblings

With the extra time together, however, comes the reminder of how extra-comfortable we get around the people we’re with the most.

We let down our guard. We filter less of what we say. We let our true colors show – the good and the ugly – because frankly, we’re kind of exhausted from being on our best behavior around everyone else. 

Yes, the people who know us best also tend to see our worst because:

1. We feel completely comfortable and safe around  them; and

2. We don’t worry about them deserting us or writing us off on a whim because in many cases – i.e. family – they’re stuck with us. And when someone is stuck with us, there’s a security in the relationship that makes it easy to push the limits.

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How Can I Make Them Want Me?

Recently I spoke with a young girl who shared with me a time that she’d been left out by friends.

It happened at school and started with a club her friends created. The club had its own rules, and when she overheard some girls in her class talking about it, she asked if she could join.WantMe

“Sure,” they replied, and with that she was a member.

Later that day, however, she overhead the mastermind behind the club – one of her friends – telling the girls who invited her in to pretend the club didn’t exist anymore. For whatever reason, the club creator didn’t want her friend to be part of this group, so she hatched a plan to continue it in secret.

As you can imagine, this girl was hurt. While she didn’t reveal to anyone what she’d overheard, she spent the rest of the day dwelling on the events and feeling confused. Why would her friend intentionally lock her out? What was the point?

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